Meditation Mayhem

It's official -- when it comes to meditation, I'm just plain broken!

I do yoga.  I'm down with the Dalai Lama.  I recognize the value and potentials of regular intervals in a meditative state.  I say all of this and yet, when it comes to meditation, I'm just plain broken!

On and off over the sixteen years since finding my way to the well-worn path I have attempted to master the self-disciplined art of meditation.  And with each attempt, failure.  The problem is I happen to have "that" brain.  You know the one -- a quiet, peaceful moment comes along and suddenly "that" brain kicks into a thought-process marathon.  To-Do Lists unleashed! 

"Don't forget we're running low on milk.  And I better grab a strawberry jelly since grape wasn't the big hit everyone thought it was going to be.  Maybe I can print a coupon.  The printer needs color ink.  Or was it black ink?  Better get both.  Breathe in.  One.  Two.  Three.  Breathe out.  One.  Two.  Three.  Is there a load of clothes in the washer that I forgot about?  Oh! That missing Nintendo DS game must've gone through the laundry in my son's pocket!  Damn, not another one.    Oh yeah, Breathing.  And, I'm breathing.  One.  Two.  Three." 

And then the internal arguments begin.

"I know I bought that book of stamps the other day. Tell me THAT went through the wash too!  Great gatsby!  Focus!  Breathing.  In.  One.  Two.  Three.  Out.  One.  Two. Three.  Forget about the laundry.  The grocery store can wait.  One.  Two.  Three.  One.  Two.  Three.  Was that birthday party this weekend or next?  Gonna have to visit a toy store too.  And what does a seven year old girl like these days anyway?  For real?!  You can't even quiet your mind for a stinkin' minute?!  Not one minute?!  Let's DO this thing!  Shake it out.  Shake away the world.  In.  Out.  In.  Out.  And just... breathe."

This would be the time the kids throw the football into the sliding glass door and send the dogs into an eruption of barking and howling.

"Aaaaaand, I'm done." 

Jump forward to my latest attempt -- guided meditation.  I figured if the solo route was not one I had the will power to get through, maybe a group session with someone talking me through it would see more success. 

You're expecting me to say "well, it didn't work" but in actuality it worked quite well.  A little too well.  And ever since, I have been bombarded with enormous amounts of energy that I've no IDEA what to do with!  Not the sort that powers the body.  The sort that charges the emotions.  My empaths out there will know exactly the sort of confusing and overwhelming energy I'm referring to. 

So, as I stated early on -- this girl?  Meditation-deficient. 

I am now beseeching my readers and fellow bloggers who excel at this ancient art of inner light to please aid me in containing the current sporadic energy frenzy so that I might feel grounded and centered once again.  Patch me up!  Please!!!

Apparently my chakra doors are flung wide open and the hinges seem to be stuck.  Oh, lucky me -- there's a wind storm picking-up outside.  Auntie Em!  Auntie Em!  Any advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Namaste.  ;)
- Em